mama's approval: the gold prize of life

​You can think you are enlightened, super successful, perfectly polished, a wonderfully embodied god/dess and just rocking everything in life, but when mama shows up, all of it vanishes, and you are just mama's little child. All accomplishments, titles, and ideas you have about yourself melt into the warmth of that cozy, warm, snuggly, familiar place in your mom's heart. This place that held you from the very beginning is one of the most comforting beds you'll ever lie in. Nothing else compares, and any other desire to be someone or do something vanishes at the slight beckoning to nestle under that mama blankie of love, protection, and acceptance.

The moment you get approval from her your being lights up with total joy and fulfillment and you feel like you've really made it. When she's disapproving, your whole world can come crashing down and every success and growth can feel totally worthless. But when you get the approval...ohhhhhh. All the journey's struggles and life pains were all worth it for the moment when she says with such truth and depth, 'I am really proud of who you've become.'


It was Mother's Day and my biggest gift I had to give her was my announcement of positive change in my life. After a long, draining lull where all passion and juice for being alive and all purpose, direction and drive in this world were dried up, where my light was squashed and motivation was nowhere to be found, I announced my return to life! Hey mom, I'm actually feeling good again! I'm feeling pumped and excited and inspired to participate in life and create! I told her how my inspiration to share healing with people has been reignited and it feels oh so yummy.


She was overcome with delight and excitement with this news. She then stopped and looked me straight in the eyes, with the loving, knowing look you can only get from the woman who carried you in her womb for 9 months, gave all of her body and strength to nourish you and push you out into the world. Who cared for you and loved you unconditionally through every growth, change, awkward and disturbing emotional and physical expression, and the difficult life phases that seemed endless, giving you everything she had..and then some extra she tapped into from this surprise well of infinite love.


She said, 'You know how I know when you're really ready to start offering this healing to the world? When you offer it to me. Then I'll know you have the confidence to do it.' I said, 'You know what, you're right! Hey, why don't you open your card.' She opened her card and out popped a message that read, 'Lucky you! You will be receiving a 1 hour healing session from THE Michaela!' She was in complete shock and amazement, and we both reveled in this incredibly synchronistic, meaningful moment where we knew our connection and this whole mother-daughter dance we'd been doing went so much deeper than anything we could understand. After so much time of my own self doubt and her motherly worries that maybe her little one won't have a happy ending...we knew this was the kind of magical occurrence that released all of those old fears that things might not work out, that I may not make her proud.


This magical moment of synchronicity was proof-- It's all going according to plan, and even the difficult, horrible, confusing times serve their purpose. She was one proud mother and I was one giddy child. Just feeling that mama love was my major life achievement award. Whatever comes next is just a bonus sprinkle. 


Of course, the journey of knowing and loving yourself is about knowing that you and your self worth are not defined by anyone else's opinions--including, and sometimes especially, not your mother's! Truly feeling that I am good enough, loved and accepted at the core of my being, regardless of anything that happens. This was a very important lesson for me to learn.  It's a lesson that certainly is of crucial importance in the trying, difficult moments when you're not feeling mama's approval and acceptance.


​And yet, we cannot deny, your mother will always be lovingly and (sometimes painfully) your mother. No other person will ever have this unique role in your life. With all that you've shared together, from the womb and onward, there will always be the unseen, invisible umbilical cord that keeps you forever connected and forever bound by love.